Archive for the ‘letters’ Category
HELP WANTED SEEKING PERSONAL ASSistant…
Posted: November 4, 2010 in letters, UncategorizedTags: Arts, Business, Business Services, Concierge Services, health, Office Services, Personal assistant, United States
Help wanted- “Personal ASSistant” I’m in need of personal ASSistant, the young lady who previously held this position unfortunately can no longer work as my personal ASSistant, due to certain medical conditions. You must meet the following requirements.
A letter to MTV about some new programing ideas
Posted: September 21, 2010 in lettersTags: Arts, Celebrity, Jersey Shore, MTV, Music, Music video, Reality television, Starbucks
To Whom It May Concern; I’m writing this letter in regards to some ideas I have for new programming. Since no one could possibly want to watch Music Television for Music Videos. I think anyone of these shows will be giant successes. Jersey Clinic- This could be an excellent spinoff for your Jersey shore program, [...]
Letter to Mac Donalds about their shit-fries and their response
Posted: September 18, 2010 in lettersTags: Allegedly Unethical Firms, Business, Chain store, Cooking, French fries, Home, McDonald, McDonaldland, Potato, Restaurant, Saturated fat, United States, Vegetables
To Whom It May Concern: I have visited your Andover, Massachusetts restaurant twice a week for the past year, and not one single time have I received French fries that are fresh. Is this company standard or perhaps your Mac-crap recipe? Are these fries specially designed to instantly cool into rock hard shreds of potato [...]
A letter to Michael Bloomberg regarding my services to curb NYC’s rat infestation.
Posted: September 10, 2010 in lettersTags: Michael Bloomberg, new york, New York City, Pets, Rat, Recreation, Rodent, United States, Vietnam War
Mayor Bloomberg, I am writing this letter in concern to the fine city of New York’s rat problem. It seems you’re being overrun with a plague of infestation. I would like to offer up my services to rid you of these foul vermin once and for all. I can guarantee to you rid you of [...]
A letter to Pastor Terry Jones of Dove world Out reach
Posted: September 9, 2010 in lettersTags: Apocalypse now, asshole, Billy Graham, cargo jet, Christianity, dove world outreach, Evangelism, hummus, Idiot, ignorant, Islam, Jesus, Opposing Views, Pastor Terry Jones, Qur'an, Religion & Spirituality, Right wing Christian, satirical letter, stupid, TNT, United State, United States, white jesus
Dear Pastor Jones, Greetings, my name is the Rev. Edaurdo Jones of the First Universal Christian Knowledge Union. I’m a good old boy such as yourself whose only crime is loving Jesus, and my sisters a little too much, if you know what I mean. I heard about your Quran burning party, and let me [...]
A letter to Hostess
Posted: September 8, 2010 in lettersTags: Christianity, Devil Dogs, Dove World Out reach, EDAURDO JONES, Florida, GOD, hostess snack cakes, Letter, Pastor Terry Jones, Qur'an, Religion & Spirituality, Religion and Spirituality, Satan, Snack food, United States
To Whom It May Concern; hello, my name is Rev. Edaurdo Jones of The First United Christian Knowledge Union, I’m writing this letter in regard to your “Devil” dog snack cakes. How dare you push your satanic snacks on the good people of this country? I see what you’re doing, trying to draw children into [...]
A Letter to Wheaties and their response
Posted: September 7, 2010 in lettersTags: Bo Jackson, Boxing, Bullriding, General Mills, Rodeo, Services, shopping, Sport, United States, Wheaties, Wheaties Champion
To Whom It May Concern: first I would like to commend you on your fine product. I have eaten Wheaties everyday for the past 15-25 years. It gave me the necessary nutrition it took me to win not one, but two national sports titles. I’m proud to say I am the reigning US National inter-penitentiary [...]
A letter to Hasbro regarding my idea for an adult line of Transformers
Posted: September 6, 2010 in lettersTags: Business, Decepticon, Electronics and Electrical, optimus prime, Robot, Robotics, transformers, Transformers and Inductors
To Whom It May Concern; I am writing this to share my idea for a new line of Transformers. I came up with this idea, while thinking about the fact that the original Transformers generation is well into their adulthood now. So, why not make a special line of Transformers strictly for Adults? Some ideas [...]
