Home Movies

Posted: March 11, 2010 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , ,

Growing up my home videos weren’t exactly the funniest America
You see my mom was constantly trying to balance her inner harmonies
with the fact she was the only one bringing home money
to feed her clothe her two lil angels
but what she didn’t see is
we were two unholy demons
each of catching a felony before the age of eighteen
Now best believe she paid infinite fees trying to save her precious babies
I never thought we could bend that woman so far back
she’d just snap.
where was dad you ask?
Soulless bastard planted two seeds and pulled a dead beat eye blink bye-bye
Doesn’t even matter to me
Cuz the only memories of Jim
involve man sized beatings and my tiny body
I got me a step monster of course
who constantly made me stack wood by the chord
I’m still misunderstood how he thinks all those cans of bud
make him a wiser man.
Now everyday I thank the man above for blessing me with Dolly and Bill
The grandest of grand parents
they had this uncanny ability to see my halo and wings
when others only saw a set of horns and a pitch fork.
Now my uncle Bill was ill
taught me how to get spilled behind the wheels and avoid the boys in blue
all by the time I to turned ten plus two
On a brighter note though
every summer for long as I can remember come August
nanny and grampy rented this cottage
To give my mom a break
grant little Chris his wish
an make Jimminy cricket happy
now ease filled days of fun sun and Atlantic sea breeze
introduced the female form in a bikinis effect on me
The true meaning of birds and bees
those anti virginity real ice cream screams had me hook line and sinker
If there’s one thing I learned in my adolescence America
it’s girls on vacation are inhibition less
you can do the math
no one she knew could possibly know anyone that I knew
So who would know but us two
that she allowed me to slide off her sweet teen angst soaked panties
and up into her juicy ripening peach on a moon lit salisbury beach.
now oh joy there’s a lot of joy when innocence is lost
and a shit ton more pain when you realize it cant be bought back at any cost
now these eyes have witnessed thirty one frosts thaws and falls
along with the inside of four different states cell walls
I caused my moms nerves to just breakdown
I tore a hole in that woman’s soul when I left her all alone
so it makes it kind of hard to pick up a phone and reach out and touch her
Just to say momma
Your lil angels fallen again
so my mothers home videos are anything but funny America.
And i can’t even fathom how much worse my mothers, mothers, mothers. home videos got to be.
It’s a curse that I can’t just pick up the remote and press reverse!

  1. Jonathan Corbin says:

    Wow man, this shit is deeply insightful, not all of which with I can identify, but I love your poetry. Now, the Dirty Rotten Ugly Girl poem (I love the anagramonimity) I can totally eyedentify with. I enjoyed at least half my life on dope and drugs, and am nothing more than a pothead who likes to drink these days (thank God because I was much worse about a year ago), but like I said , that one really hit home. Keep em coming , man. Me like.

  2. Rose says:

    I remember going to school with you and Chris. I never knew any of that. We were both young, hurting and not suppose to talk about it. It sucked. Your writing is addicting! I have a feeling you are going to see a lot of comments from me.

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