A Letter to Wheaties and their response

Posted: September 7, 2010 in letters
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

To Whom It May Concern: first I would like to commend you on your fine product. I have eaten Wheaties everyday for the past 15-25 years. It gave me the necessary nutrition it took me to win not one, but two national sports titles. I’m proud to say I am the reigning US National inter-penitentiary Welterweight boxing and Rodeo Bull riding Champion.

I first became aware of your products health benefits when I noticed after eating Wheaties every morning for a week, I had more strength and energy to fight off gang rapists in the showers. This is also how I caught the attention of one of the gaurds, who invited me down to try out for the prison’s boxing team. You may have even seen me on MSNBC’s show lockup. Rodeo just came naturally to me, I’d often had a taste for cow buggery so hanging on for 8 seconds was nothing to me.

I was wondering how one could be featured on your box cover, is there an application process and if so could you please forward me one. This would make the 15-25 year sentence I’ve just completed for arson, mis use of a giant pig on wheels, bestiality, unarmed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon (a dildo), kidnapping and miss use of government property, all worth it.

I feel being a reigning champion in two different events, that you could perhaps promote me as new age Bo Jackson, and an example to children that if you just try hard enough you can do anything, it doesn’t matter what your background is. You can have all your dreams come true! Sincerely , the reigning United states inter penitentiary Welterweight boxing and Rodeo Bull riding champion. Edaurdo Jones.

*****************************************************NOW THEIR RESPONSE BELOW***************************

Dear Mr. Jones:

Thank you for contacting General Mills regarding your interest in Wheaties.

Selecting a Wheaties Champion has never been an easy task, especially in a country graced with so many outstanding athletes. Over the years, virtually hundreds of athletes have played a part in advertising the Breakfast of Champions.

As you might guess, we receive many requests from consumers asking us to feature a favorite athlete or team on a Wheaties package. While most would represent Wheaties well, it is simply not possible to honor them all.

We appreciate that you have taken the time to share your preferences and hope you continue to use and enjoy our products.

Sincerely,

Jeana Fortuno
Consumer Services

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