Dear Pastor Jones, Greetings, my name is the Rev. Edaurdo Jones of the First Universal Christian Knowledge Union. I’m a good old boy such as yourself whose only crime is loving Jesus, and my sisters a little too much, if you know what I mean. I heard about your Quran burning party, and let me tell you something Brother Jones, you may be on to something there. But I have a better idea.  Why don’t we just snuff this evil out at its source? We shouldn’t be burning Quran’s, we should be dousing little Muslim Babies in jellied gasoline and setting them ablaze. I mean if there’s no little baby Muslim’s how can Islam carry on?  I mean for Christ’s sake these people are evil, can you believe they actually think Jesus was an Arab. Come on now, you seen the pictures of Jesus. He was a blue eyed white man of Northern European descent just like you and I, right? What kind of stupid son of a bitch would think Jesus wasn’t white? Just because his parents were both from Nazareth don’t mean they’d give birth to a brown Jesus does it? Everybody knows Jesus hates anybody who aint white. It says so in the bible.   Only a fool would think Jesus wasn’t white! Right Brother Jones?

I say we take this plan to the next level Brother Jones. Why burn Qurans’ here on American soil? We can charter a cargo jet and airdrop right into downtown Baghdad blaring Billy Graham sermons over a 50,000 watt stereo system like in Apocalypse now, Dropping King James Bibles down from the heavens on these heathens! GOD, I love the smell of Christianity in the morning!  Shit, Brother Jones we could be real hero’s of the Christian right and shove sticks of TNT up our assholes and suicide bomb a Hummus factory! That’s what Jesus really wants! I got a tube of Astro glide with your name on it, and I would consider it an honor to personally pack your ass full of dynamite in the name of Jesus!  Sincerely, Rev. Edaurdo Jones of the F.U.C.K.U

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Comments
  1. Ocean says:

    the burning of the koran could endanger U.S. troops and Americans worldwide…

    lol, as if terrorist and muslims in our own military are not endangering US troops already? What kinds of cowards are shrinking from this event? I am not a supporter of it nor am I against it. I am just trying to figure out why everyone is nutting up and making Terry Jones famous over this? Everyone is acting like muslims control the world and that something like this will cause mass riots in the US. Are you guys smoking too much pot and getting paranoid on us? Please stop crying over the burning of the books.

  2. Bonnie Altwies says:

    retweeted…laughed all the way. Love it,love you.

  3. I too burn things that I completely disagree with. Why just the other day I burned my neighbors bush because I decided it conflicted with my anti-landscaping viewpoint. As a Christian, I thought my neighbor would appreciate the “Burning bush” idea… But he didn’t… Restraining order to come.

  4. Mohammad Don’t Surf!!

    Hahahah.. they’re getting better and better.. make sure you post any replies you get !!

  5. ‘Your Annoying’ is in my Top-5.

    By the way, were you ever a member of BagFace5?

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