It recently came to our attention here a Beatdom that our very own Edaurdo Jones’s grandfather actually played High school football against Jack Kerouac. It’s an actual historical fact go look it up. So we got Gramps to sit down and answer some questions about playing football against one of America’s most influential authors.
Beatdom; So is it true you played High school football against Jack Kerouac?
GJ; It sure is.
Beatdom; Do you think you could tell us about it?
GJ; It’s been many years since I took to the grid iron against Jack “Twinkle Toes” Kerouac on a blistering cold November day in 1937, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was the starting Quarterback for Punchard High in Andover Massachusetts and old Twinkle Toes played half back for Lowell High school. I remember the wind was blowing 50 MPH in both directions that day as we took the field to do battle like gladiators in the golden autumn sun.
They called me Billy Banana’s back in those days due to the fact I’d slip past the defense men like a banana peel on freshly waxed floor. Lowell’s defense might as well have been cooking French fries with boxing gloves on during this game. They’d zig and I’d zag in the pocket. I remember hurling a 99 yard hail Mary straight into “Sticky hands” Lynch’s numbers just before half time. Tying the game at 49-49. I ran 5 of the 7 touchdown we scored in myself through the 3 feet of snow that had fallen on the field in a freak blizzard that struck the area that day.
Beatdom; Wow! They didn’t call the game on account of snow?
GJ; Jesus no! We were real men in those days. We didn’t have all those pansy pads and stuff they wear now a days. All we had was a leather helmet to keep your brains from flying out your ears if you got hit too hard. Snow was nothing to us.
Beatdom; Could you tell us little bit about Kerouac on the field.
GJ: Old Twinkle toes was a thing of beauty on the field. He’d bound over tacklers like a mountain goat scaling a cliff. He was like a run away locomotive once he got some momentum. He was dirty bastard in the bottom of the dog pile though. He once bit a linebacker right in the family jewels fighting over the pigskin in the bottom of the pile. He’d always be gauging eyes and throwing kidney punches or giving somebody fish hooks.
Beatdom; That’s rather un sportsman like conduct.
GJ; Maybe to a generation of panty wastes like you. But to real men that’s the way you play in the bottom of the pile. Victory by any means!
Beatdom; So you didn’t mind Kerouac’s dirty tactics?
GJ; Hell no! We respected him more for it!
Beatdom; I’m finding it kind of hard to believe Kerouac was such a viscous menace after reading his books.
GJ; He was a beast and a man’s man until he moved to NYC and linked up with that God damn no good Beatnik Allen what ever the hell his name is and he started filling his head up with that love peace and happiness crapola!
Beatdom; Let’s get back to the subject of the game. Who ended winning?
GJ; We did of course! Old Twinkle Toes played a good game but he was no match for us. Final score was 125-121.
Beatdom; Isn’t that kind of a high score for a football game?
GJ; Not when real men are playing, and not some sissy boys running around with 50 pounds of protective gear!