Posts Tagged ‘life’

“It’s the end of the world baby, so let’s have fun.” Camu Tao.

Fuck These Pakikillians!

When operating a clandestine lab, there are certain steps one must take to go unnoticed and out of prison. The first is; you never put anything in your name. The second is; you only rent from slum lords. The types you know are never going to show up to perhaps do some maintenance on the house, or mow the lawn.


Good Day Mr. Jones,
My name is Trina DeMattei, I am currently in pre-production on a feature length documentary that I am directing entitled “Finding the Beat…”
I wanted to clarify that I received your contact info from David S. Wills at Beatdom Magazine. I happily stumbled on Beatdom in my research of everything Beat. I am so happy that David responded with such gusto for our little movie. In a series of get-to-know-you emails he proclaimed that he had poets/writers/artists who we should contact.
The intent of the documentary to find the Modern Beat. We will venture out on a road trip across America SF-NYC  to find our America through the eyes of its artists. We believe a legacy does exist and my intent is three fold:
1. To showcase (via our blog and film) and to meet/interview a series of subjects from various artistic backgrounds from all over America who we
believe display the modern Beat.
2.  To honor the members of the Original Beat Generation, who they were and how their work inspired our film. We aim to interview influential Beat historians and hopefully some who knew them personally.
3.) To explore various themes, including: The modern artistic community and if there is one.  How we get our art out THERE in the age of Twitter haiku’s and FB updates – does this lessen our art or contact with each other? How has America changed from when Jack 1st set out and more importantly (I think) how are we the same?
After David suggested your name, I found your blog. I read through a few of your posts/articles for Beatdom and I thoroughly enjoyed your writing. I went ahead and linked your blog on our blog roll. Check out our site at:
On the site you can check out what we are about and who we are.
We are asking for contributors of all forms and we are currently on the look out for subjects. We started with Denver and we were overwhelmed with the response. We want to use our blog as a multi-media showcase as well as a format to discuss the making of the film.
Our intent is to film in Denver in August. We have a subject we are very interested in shooting his life, his work and of course the relevance of Denver to the Beats. We are currently preparing for fundraising (benefits here in Northern California and such) so we aim to use our Denver footage as a trailer/short for future fundraising efforts.
I really enjoyed reading your work and my intent in writing to you is to see if you would be interested in being a contributor to our blog as well as a possible subject?
Wow! Sorry it took so long to get to that!
You can learn more about me, here:
I hope this letter finds you well and hope to hear from you soon,
Trina DeMattei
Finding the Beat…
A basic synopsis of the film/project..
A journey across America’s heart to find its Beat.

10 Cities : San Francisco, Los Angeles, Denver, Austin, New Orleans, Chicago, Savannah, Memphis, D.C. & Boston.

10 Subjects: An artist picked from each city that displays the Beat of their city. We will go to meet them in person, see/hear their work and learn about their lives.

The Challenge: Of these 10, 3 will be invited to come along for the ride.

The Road trip: From SF to NYC -we will pick up our selected 3 and ask them to jump in the car and come along for the ride.

The Destination: New York City.

The End: A showcase in NYC . A night of music, art & poetry. A night to showcase all of the subjects of our documentary but especially the final 3. The audience that night will be comprised of the people (agents, editors, producers, artists) that NEED TO SEE THEIR WORK.

The Result: We’ve made our film. Our subjects will have received the recognition they deserved.

We’re on a journey across America’s heart to find its beat. Come on America, we’re ready.

There comes a time in a mans life when he decides to give up his bachelor life and commit himself to a loving devoted life to the girl of his dreams. Fortunately this day is nowhere in sight for me, but for my friend Kevin that day has come. So as tradition goes, before tying that knot and clasping that 130 lb ball and chain to his ankle the groom is allowed one last night of testosterone fueled chaos, anarchy, and debauchery with the men in his life. The following is the tale of Mr. Kevin Smiths Bachelor party of doom.
It was some time in the early evening on Saturday my comrade and savage drunkard Pelletier came and coerced me off  my property with the promise of  free booze, food and loose women. How could I pass such an offer up? It was un-American and felt it my civil duty to send Kevo off to the married life in true Jones fashion.  It’s a short drive up the Coast to Kevo’s residence from mine. By the time Pelletier and I arrive the savage band of lunatics at Kev’s are already headed deep into the back of beyond.
The scent of roasting flesh  on the grill and the foul tongue of man talk fill the air. A few members of the party are at least six sheets to the wind already and darkness has yet fall. I see Billy is the farthest gone into the back of beyond at this point. He’s just biting cans of beer open, chewing on the aluminum and pouring the contents into his gullet. Sly seems to be rocketing through time at ten times the pace of the actual space time continuum. This is definitely my type of party.
I find Doctor C staggering around the party with a bottle of rum hooked up to an intravenous drip. I question him on if this a safe procedure and he assures me he’s a man of medicine and this is exactly what the doctor prescribed.
After a few hours of drunken mayhem and the destruction of Pelletier’s shiny shirt at the hands of the Savage Mr. Bill, it’s decided perhaps we need some entertainment. I phone my contact for just situations. His name is Octavio,  he’s a one eyed midget El Salvadorian gorilla pimp with a clubbed foot and a taste for mescal, fire arms, sodomy, and cock fighting. Just the type of guy you need to know when your need of entertainment for such an event.  After a few moments of negotiations and Kevo agreeing to allowing Octavio  to have cock fighting matches in Kevo’s yard tonight and the entertainment is on its way.
In the mean time we decide to occupy our selves with games of bean bag toss or corn holing as it’s known in the mid west.  Once Octavio and his band of Russian strippers arrive, I’ve come up with a splendid idea to put a new twist on the game we’re playing. It’s going to be a combination of skill luck and kagel veracity.  We each pick one of Octavio’s flock to be our launcher so to speak. We then lay them flat on their backs and load their boxes with ping pong balls. A quick push on their belly with the combined force of a nice squeeze of their kagel muscles and we’re in business and we’ve invented a new sport. Kagel Corn hole.
Everything is going smoothly until the cock fighting matches get out of hand and Octavio shoots a Guatemalan’s piggy toe off in a dispute. The Police and EMT’s are quickly on the scene. A few greased palms and back room BJ’s for the officers and we’re allowed to continue the party provided the cock fighting stops and we allow the rest of the Salisbury PD to attend the festivities.
The rest of the evening is a complete and total blur filled with copious amounts of booze and acts of debauchery  still illegal in at least 46 states of the union. Which I honestly can not remember. I remember  being woken up in a pool of booze, vomit, and g-strings some time early the next morning by a very hung over and un pleasant Mr. Pelletier who needed to attend a double header little league game that day. All and all it was great time and the hang over of the century I had yesterday was well worth the fun I had the night before……..

Dear Mr/Mrs, Janet Jones.
My name is Nadene Choy, I e-mail from Exent Management Team, formed in Muunich, Germany(EU) in 1997.
We hire new members from USA for part time home based job. We are searching for honest and reliable USA citizens, age 21+.
The job itself takes 1-1.5 hours per day, is commission-based, and requires no special skills and education.
Being part of our company you will have to process our transactions in USA, act as our ‘manager’ over Internet.
No physical activity, no investments, no responsibility. We provide training and support, you will have personal Advisor who will assist you in every step.
We offer commission-based salary, that varies from USD1,200 to USD3,400 per month and depends on your accuracy, speed and effectivity.
Please, reply to this email to get more information, including legal side of business, website, contact information and our company activity description.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Best wishes, Nadene Choy

So last night I took to my usual way of unwinding beside a roaring fire with six a pack of Flying Dog Pale Ales. Alcohol in the right dosage has a way of spawning creativity. Ask any poet. So in my altered state I decided to make myself a keep sake of the moment. I laid several of the bottles in the fiery coals and let physics run it’s course. I ended up with some incredible ashtrays. I do believe I have a new hobby. I am officially taking up creating beer bottle ashtrays. I consider it going green and putting the bottles to another use. Of course you can’t do this with just any bottle. It has to be made of quality glass not that cheap stuff the giants of the industry use. That stuff only shatters when you apply heat.  By the end of the summer I’ll have hundreds of these things. I guess that means I’ll be giving them away to friends as gifts. I’m sure every beer drinking cigarette smoker could appreciate a nice beer bottle ashtray..

I have no title

Posted: April 24, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

8:45 AM- It’s Saturday and I am awake. I suppose that’s a good thing.  It’s much better than listening to earthworm tails slither across my coffin nails. I’m in amazingly good spirits. This is unusual for me at such an early hour. I am anything but a morning person. But for some reason today I woke up in an excellent mood. So let’s see where this day takes me. I don’t have much to say so I’ll just post some pics and that should take care of blogging for the day…

Well it’s 7:22 in the AM here in New England. I’ve decided to blog. About what? I don’t know. I guess I’ll just ramble on and we’ll see where the hell it goes. I’ve been working on my book for the most part lately and have discovered it’s much more of a difficult process then I first thought it would be. Books need to be perfection. So a bunch of rewriting is constantly involved. I usually just blast everything out and that’s that no rewriting. But this is a book, and as I told my editor MR. Wills yesterday it would seem we’ve jumped into the shark infested waters of the literary world now and nothing less than perfection will do on either of our parts.

I’m also realizing that writing a book really is a team effort between writer and editor. Sure they’re my words, but it’s also the keen fat trimming eye of Mr. Wills that’s makes things streamlined and readable.  So this week will be spent re writing some stuff that honestly I kind of got full of myself while writing and said “I’m fucking Edaurdo Jones everything I write is gold!” Well it was gold. A big golden corn kernel encrusted piece of steaming shit. Not that it wasn’t entertaining or creative or perhaps even blog worthy. But at this stage of the game it was sub par for a book.  So the time has come to cut slash chop and rewrite it. Such is the way of the world.

In other news……. I think I may be losing my mind. But that’s ok. Spring is here in full force and the urge to mate, well practice mating,( I’m not one for settling down with anyone it always ends in problems) is in full effect. Unfortunately as many of you know I take full time care of my grandfather so getting out to places or attending events that mating rituals usually happen at are slim to none. Also the fact that I haven’t lived in New England for quite sometime has left number of digits on the old booty call list at zero. So if you are or know a lady preferably from the former U.S.S.R and are seeking a green card I think I could help you out in exchange for marital obligations for a short period of time. Don’t worry, I’ll probably tire of you in a few weeks and you’ll be free to enjoy the American dream on your own with a shiny new green card.

On to the next subject…. Things at Beatdom are rolling along smoothly and our next issue the Music issue is due out in June and we’ll be giving you a teaser of the first 5,000 words of my book. Along with some other treats. So all and all life is good. Gramps is in top form and except for needing to dance the horizontal mambo like a demon in heat I can’t complain. Special thanks going out to David S. Wills for dealing with my crazy ass on the regular and Mr. Martin Flynn for being the voice of reason and some what of a guiding light in recent weeks. That is all from Mr. Jones for today.